chinad011:

it took me years to understand this joke

(via itsagifnotagif)

smalltonystark:

honestly it is SO goddamn funny whenever some straight man calls me a whore or a bitch or something like girl you think that shit hurts my feelings? my closest friend once told me i dressed like an accounting major going through her 2nd divorce while trying to get her oldest stepchild to call her once a month. THATS a real insult. try harder.

(via itsagifnotagif)

saywhat-politics:

“I find it revealing when people mock where I came from…” - Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez 

(via tybalt-tisk)

notliterallyunbelievable:

People falling for Clickhole is even funnier than people falling for the Onion becuase Clickhole doesn’t even ATTEMPT to sound convincing like the Onion does.

(via tybalt-tisk)

doctormead:

wombatking:

blackberrywidow:

science-husband:

loki-tony-peter:

peterssquill:

peterssquill:

thor would be pissed that he missed the dinosaurs tbh 

thor: you have 7 phds, can you find a way to resurrect them?
bruce: there’s literally six movies proving what a terrible idea that is
thor: you don’t have all the facts
bruce: which are?
thor: i love them 

Wait if the Jurassic Park movies exist in the MCU… I want Thor to watch them with Bruce and ask why the Grandmaster is in them. Bruce is confused but looks at who Thor is pointing at before just… “holy shit…”

*Bruce 3 hours later*

Bruce: Tony listen! Geff Goldbloom is an immortal alien god! Tony where are you going? Come back! This is important!

Tony the next time he sees Jeff Goldbloom at a party: Oh man, you won’t believe what my buddy told me the other day. He thinks you’re some kind of immortal alien god and that you held him prisoner in space. Can you believe that? Wild.

Jeff:

Originally posted by trapstrblog

Meanwhile, Thor brought his idea to Peter and Shuri, and the next thing you know he’s chasing a baby raptor around the Avengers base.

Tony:  *pinching the bridge of his nose*  Let the kids play with genetics, they said.  It will be educational, they said.

(via marvel-is-ruining-my-life)

strangesequitur:

unpretty:

paintmeahero:

sylveonce:

unpretty:

gregorydickens:

victorian-sexstache:

unpretty:

son-of-maglor:

fiskeorn:

elkian:

unpretty:

unpretty:

dr-hollands:

unpretty:

i love cutthroat kitchen but bingewatching makes it really stand out how often alton brown refers to himself as ‘daddy’ and makes contestants wear spreader bars

I’m sorry what

you heard me

#I CAN’T BELIEVE I NOW KNOW WHERE TO BUY THE EXACT FETISH GEAR THEY USE ON MY FAVORITE COOKING SHOW

@genericrevenge

OKAY BUT WHY THE FUCK ARE THEY USING SPREADER BARS ON A COOKING SHOW??!??! DOESNT THAT MAKE IT KINDA HARD TO COOK???!?

kinda, yeah

@datas-vibrating-robot-dong this seems like your speed

That logo looks familiar.

WHAT

OH MY GOD

We met Alton Brown at a show he did here - we paid the extra cash to meet him and get a blurry cellphone pic with him and have him sign a picture. He noticed my (male) companion’s pocket watch, and proceeded to order him to take it out of his pocket. It wasn’t obnoxious, it was in a Dom tone that brooked no argument. So he complied. When he found out it wasn’t wound, and so not working, he was deeply disappointed, and told him to do better next time. 

If this guy isn’t a Dom, I’ll eat that spreader bar.

This post just keeps going new places every reblog cycle.

(via mavistars)

mayanangel:

THE GREATEST SAGA OF OUR TIME

(via thecommonchick)

doona-baes:

CONGRATULATIONS TO SANDRA OH, WINNER OF 2019 GOLDEN GLOBE AWARDS BEST ACTRESS IN TV DRAMA
she is now the first asian woman to win golden globes in multiple categories

qualitees:

itsjustbanta:

NEED

You can get one here :D

(via only1600kids)

dontbeanassbutt:

im bout to give older tumblr users major flashbacks

tumblr user pizza

(via dontbeanassbutt)